The relationship is over, and, for all intents and purposes, they should be out of your life for good. And yet, they keep calling. And calling. And calling. It’s hard to be sure, but they may very well be behind those “unknown caller” calls, too. Frankly, you want your life back! If your ex won’t stop calling, it seems like you might never get the chance to focus on yourself, much less on a new relationship. However, you can start dealing with an ex who won’t stop calling and give you both the chance to move on, even if it takes what seem to be extreme measures.
Tell them to stop.
If you haven’t already, it’s certainly possible that confronting your ex can be enough to stop the incessant phone calls. They might not even realize that what they’re doing is wrong. After all, breakups can be tricky—they may not be thinking clearly. While this won’t be a guaranteed solution, you may be surprised to find it’s all you need to stop these phone calls.
Carefully screen your calls.
Assuming talking doesn’t stop the unwanted phone calls, you’ll want to cut contact as much as possible. Of course, this is more easily said than done, especially if you have children. One of the most helpful methods, in any case, is to avoid answering the phone when an unknown number calls. You can block their cell phone number easily, but it’s difficult to circumvent the numbers you don’t recognize. Instead, take advantage of reverse phone lookup services to identify an incoming call when you don’t recognize the number to block it in advance. Then, when a phone number you don’t recognize calls you, you’ll be ready to see just who it is that’s calling, be it a telemarketer or one of their friends or family members.
Update any passwords or other security measures.
If your ex continues to call you despite knowing this is against your wishes, they might try to reach you in other ways or even access your accounts to wreak havoc or simply make a scene. To avoid this, be sure to change any social media passwords or the information on websites such as online banking and similar services. This is the best way to make sure your social media accounts (and others) are logged out of all devices, including any of your ex’s you might have used. If you’re concerned, you might also want to check these sites’ security questions or other details. In many cases, information like your mother’s maiden name or pet’s names can be used to access and change login information—and these are certain facts that your former partner could know.
Above all else, you must work to protect yourself, as well as any children or pets that may be at risk due to the split. Your safety must come before any concerns about the propriety of “being nice.” If you’ve asked them to stop and they’re still calling you or otherwise engaging in stalking or harassment, they’ve forfeited the expectation of niceties. You must prioritize your own well-being, even if that involves a restraining order or police involvement.
Breakups are almost always hard (thanks, Neil Sedaka), but they’re made even more challenging when dealing with an ex who can’t (or won’t) take a hint. So if your ex keeps calling from their landline or cell phone number, those of friends or family members, or even unknown numbers or a burner phone, take the initiative to protect yourself—identifying and blocking unknown callers and reaching out to legal counsel or your local police station if you suspect you or your family is in danger.