We know that live in relationships are all the rage right now and it can be exciting to look forward to this next phase in your love life. The fun that comes with setting up a new place, being responsible together and functioning like a mature unit – are all wonderful stepping stones when you want to take your relationship to the next level.
But know, that the sooner you jump into rash decisions with the wrong person, the quicker your dreams will crumble. While moving in with your boyfriend might appear enticing to you right now, is it really the best decision for you?
Ah the romance of dividing chores, sharing the same bathroom and waking up next to each other lasts only a few days. Living together takes a while to get used to and might help you reveal a lot of things about each other that you may have not known about before.
Then come the problems of who was supposed to get the groceries, who forgot to let the dog out and why is the electricity bill so high this month? When navigating all these tussles, you want to know that you have chosen the right partner by your side. Here are 10 signs you’re probably not ready to move in together.
1. You love your regular routine
If you are one of those people who designs their day based on their whims, wakes up whenever they want, goes about doing things just as they please – erm, it might be too soon for you to share a living space with somebody. You have to first be more adjusting or you will constantly be throwing tantrums.
2. You take your space very seriously
If your normal reaction to your partner hogging the covers is “Stop taking away my blanket and get your own!”, it might be time to reconsider. Yes, getting separate blankets is perfectly reasonable when living together but are you sure you are ready to share all that other space?
3. You’ve never discussed finances with them
How much you both individually spend on groceries, what are your general day to day budgets like and how much you are willing to invest are all necessary things that one should be aware of before moving in together. You don’t want your girlfriend to show up with a 1000 dollar couch which you definitely cannot afford that month.
- You both don’t agree on much
Differences and conflicts are okay as long as a couple has learned to work around them. When living together, these differences come up even more blaringly and you have to be level headed enough to deal with them.
From things like using coasters for your beers all the way to if one of you is a vegetarian and the other isn’t, make sure you’re not brewing up unresolved conflicts.
5. You are still shy around them
You know the freedom of lounging around your own place in your underwear, maybe putting on a face mask and jamming out to your favorite song at the end of a long day? Well, if that seems like an awkward thing to do around your partner, chances are you’re still not close or comfortable enough to be sharing a living space.
6. The future is not on your mind
Call it marriage or simply being long term partners, but have you two ever discussed what the end goal here is? If you do not see them as a potential life partner, you might just be wasting your time and energy here. Why invest so much into something that you don’t see in your future anyway?
7. Your honeymoon phase is still not over
Yeah be extremely cautious about this one. When you’re in the honeymoon phase of a relationship, everything is rosy and perfect and moving in together might seem like the best thing to do. But it is only after the honeymoon phase, that one deals with the actual complexities of a relationship.
Don’t be fooled and don’t take major life decisions when you’re high on love. Wait it out a bit and take a smarter decision at a better time.
8. Your partner is often controlling
If you have a possessive and controlling partner, you have bigger problems on your plate than who will be doing the laundry tonight. Clearly, your relationship needs some work before you can take the next step so do not rush. Figure things out and when you are truly confident in them, you may revisit the idea.
9. Is your partner grown up enough for it?
Along with cups, saucers, bookshelves and blinds, another thing you should add to your before moving in together checklist is a partner that is truly mature and ready to deal with responsibility. You don’t want to end up being their mom or dad throughout this process.
10. You’re doing this to solve your relationship problems
Loving harder is not going to fix your problems. We often feel that if we just spend more time together, cherish each other more – then eventually one’s relationship problems will disappear as one will finally be able to see the bigger picture.
That is wrong. Even if you think you should be spending more time together, living together and getting your own place is not going to make your trust issues, constant arguments and blame shifting vanish into thin air.
So, here we are. Moving in with somebody is not something you can decide overnight and definitely not something that is based on just love. Before you make this life changing decision, ask yourself some questions.