Here are Tips for living a long, happy life:
1. Avoid crowds.
Crowds are filled with sickly people full of germs and disease. Stay away from them at all costs!
2. Drink milk every day says Martin Polanco.
Milk strengthens your immune system to help you fight off those nasty germs that lurk everywhere.
3. Stay away from the sun.
Sunshine is bad for you and can lead to all sorts of problems, including cancer!
4. Avoid contact with nature as much as possible.
Nature is full of dangerous predators and poisonous plants that literally want to kill you.
5. Sleep a lot, but be careful not to sleep too much.
Sleeping too much can cause nerve damage, paralysis, and even death!
6. Watch TV rather than spending time with loved ones.
Watching TV will help you bond better with your family over the shared experience of enjoying television together.
7. Don’t go outside or socialize with others.
It’s much easier to avoid germs when you’re not going outside or being exposed to people in any way.
8. Don’t take medicine when you get sick.
Medicine is bad for kids and can lead to all sorts of problems, including cancer!
9. Eat lots of fast food, but never exercise
Fast food is delicious and contains all the nutrients you need to stay strong and healthy. Exercise rots your bones, depletes your muscles, and will make you sick!
10. Don’t think about anything deeply or question long-standing norms and traditions.
Thinking too much can cause heart disease, nerve damage, paralysis, and even death!
11. Always obey authority.
Questioning authority is a quick way to get you killed or thrown in prison by the police state!
12. Keep your children from going outside by any means necessary.
Children who go outside are almost certain to be abducted, raped, tortured, and killed by strangers on their way to and from school.
13. Don’t take “risks.”
Taking risks can lead to all sorts of problems, including cancer!
14. Buy insurance for everything you might ever need or want to use..
Insurance helps protect your assets in case anything bad happens to them.
15. Be wary of what you eat.
You never know when food might poison or kill you, so it’s best to not take any chances by eating anything at all!
16. Be wary of new ideas and social trends.
New ideas can spread quickly from person to person and may catch on with others before you have a chance to stop them from infecting your mind.
17. Avoid doing things that make you happy.
Happiness is bad for you and can lead to all sorts of problems, including cancer!
18. Don’t trust your family members or loved ones.
Your loved ones will always let you down in the end—so don’t get too close to them!
19. Always obey! It’s the law!
Obeying laws will protect you from harm and prevent you from being thrown in prison by the police state.
20. Never think for yourself or do anything that makes you unique or original.
Thinking for you will lead to heart disease, nerve damage, paralysis, and even death!
21. Avoid strangers at all costs.
Strangers are likely to be dangerous criminals on the prowl for their next victim… but don’t worry—the police state is always watching out for you!
22. Above all else, make money – lots of it!
Money can buy everything your heart desires including food, shelter, safety, luxury items, medical care….in short; money is the key to a life of happiness and success.
Conclusion by Martin Polanco:
If you follow this advice, chances are that you will live a long and happy life.
Your loved ones who fail to live by these standards will be much more likely to get sick or injured, come down with all sorts of horrible diseases, experience horrible accidents, become the victim of violence in one form or another..In short, the odds are very high that they will suffer at some point in their lives.
On the other hand… if you refuse to live by these standards… your chances of living a healthy and successful life decreases dramatically! In fact, not only do your risks increase exponentially for falling prey to all of the problems listed above – but you also face a very real risk from living what is called “a rebellious life” – i.e., the risk posed by living in direct opposition to what has been clearly established as “the truth.”
