Life doesn’t stay still for long. Our loved ones experience milestones, setbacks, health scares, career changes, grief, retirement, and moments of unexpected transition. These changes can be overwhelming—both for the person going through them and for those trying to support them.
Showing up, truly and meaningfully, during these times is one of the most powerful gifts you can offer.
Here’s how to do it well.
Start with Presence, Not Perfection
You don’t need the perfect words or all the right answers. You don’t even need a solution. What your loved one often needs most is simply your presence—uncomplicated, non-judgemental, and real.
Put down your phone, turn off distractions, and give them your full attention. Whether it’s a quiet sit together, a phone call, or a shared walk, showing up begins with simply being there.
Ask, Don’t Assume
Even with good intentions, it’s easy to assume what someone needs during a major change. Needs vary—some people want advice, others want distraction, and many just want to be heard.
Ask: “What would be most helpful right now?” or “Do you want to talk or just sit together?” This opens the door to honest communication and shows respect for their process.
Validate Their Experience
Big life changes can leave people feeling vulnerable, isolated, or misunderstood. Instead of offering quick fixes or comparisons, acknowledge the reality of their experience.
Phrases like “That sounds really hard,” or “It’s okay to feel overwhelmed,” offer comfort and connection. Remember, empathy doesn’t rush to change the moment—it holds space for it.
Offer Help in Specific Ways
People in transition often hear, “Let me know if you need anything,”—but that puts the burden back on them. Instead, offer tangible, specific help.
Try:
- “I’m free Wednesday—can I bring dinner or take the kids for a bit?”
- “Would it help if I came to the appointment with you?”
- “I’ve researched a few local options like this care home in Bournemouth in case you’re considering next steps—no pressure, just something to look at.”
The clearer you are, the easier it is for your loved one to say yes.
Be Willing to Sit with Discomfort
Showing up isn’t always easy. Life’s changes often come with tears, frustration, or fear. You might not know what to say, and that’s okay.
The key is not turning away from the discomfort. Whether someone is facing ageing, illness, uncertainty, or grief, your willingness to sit with them through the messiness—without trying to fix it—means more than you may ever realise.
Show Up Again (and Again)
Support isn’t a one-time event. After the initial wave of help has passed, many people face a second wave of isolation. Be the person who still checks in weeks or months later.
Set reminders. Make regular contact. Show that you’re not just there for the emergency, but for the long haul.
Support the Support System
Sometimes, showing up for one loved one also means supporting the people around them—partners, siblings, and caregivers. They may be carrying invisible burdens.
A kind message, a meal, a ride, or just asking, “How are you holding up?” can go a long way in strengthening the circle of care.
Respect Their Pace, Not Yours
Everyone moves through life changes at different speeds. Whether someone is adjusting to a new diagnosis, recovering from a breakup, or making big decisions about future care, they need time.
Support them without pushing. Offer information, like details about a compassionate care home in Bournemouth if it’s relevant, but also give them the emotional space to consider their path.
Reflect on Your Own Growth
Supporting someone else through life’s changes often shifts your own perspective. It can make you more patient, more aware, and more compassionate.
Take time to reflect on how you are changing too. Gratitude, vulnerability, and emotional maturity are all strengthened when we show up wholeheartedly for others.
Final Thoughts
You don’t need to be an expert to support the people you love. You just need to be present, attentive, and willing to show up—even when it’s uncomfortable, even when you’re not sure what to say.
In seasons of change, what matters most isn’t fixing the problem—it’s walking alongside someone as they navigate it.
Because showing up isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about being someone who stays.
